(This post is part of a series. For previous posts in the series please see #1, #2., #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21)
As this terrible disease has progressed, I've had a front row seat to something pretty amazing.
It began when a dear friend from church, who had come as a brother to help with some household tasks, found himself clutching my husband's hands and looking into his eyes. "I could see the love there," he told me the next day at church.
Similar stories have become common among visitors. People he hasn't seen in years have looked into his eyes and found joy at a moment of recognition. Individuals who become emotional often find him grabbing their hands or stroking their arms to comfort them. Strangers who come to our home as caregivers have found him intently trying hard to communicate words of encouragement. And while he is basically non-verbal, he still gets so much joy singing a hymn for visitors, even when he can only manage a couple of lines.
I've realized that what I'm witnessing is probably as close to the pure, unhindered ministry of the Holy Spirit as I may ever see on this earth. Because of this disease, my husband cannot logically reason, make decisions, use his limbs to any significant degree, control his emotions, or speak most of the time - yet what is untouched is his soul. The presence of the Holy Spirit in him is one of the most vibrant realities I have ever experienced.
This has been such a beautiful reminder of the power of presence, of just holding someone's hand, of genuine love. What I'm learning as I observe this is the power of just letting the Holy Spirit do His work through us. I often overthink ministry and sometimes talk myself out of what God might be trying to do through me. I make it harder, not easier, and anything that He does through me is most often in spite of me!
I'm also learning so much about surrender. My husband has shown the gift of faith in so many ways over the years we've been together, but nothing like what I see now as he has surrendered to God and allowed himself to be cared for by others. Yet as Paul wrote, even as the outer man fades away, his inner person is being renewed day by day. The Holy Spirit is ministering to him, as much as through him.
I am all about loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength - but when it comes down to it, to minister to another human being all He really needs is my heart, surrendered to Him.
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