Lessons from Caregiving, #8: Actions that Touch the Soul

(This post is part of a series. For previous posts in the series please see #1, #2., #3, #4, #5, #6, #7)

I asked my husband to forgive me yesterday.

That might seem strange to some, me asking forgiveness from someone who has already forgotten that I snapped at him and doesn't understand the meaning of the word "forgive". Indeed, when I asked him if he forgave me, he said, "Of course I don't forgive you".  He meant, of course, that there was nothing to forgive - his standard response over the past 23+ years. The man has rose colored blinders on, y'all.

It had been a rough morning, with him being off schedule and me being frustrated because that meant I wouldn't get to have my quiet time. (For me, the classic cue that I'm walking in the flesh and not the Spirit is when I get put out over my quiet time being interrupted by something God has called me to do!) In my frustration, I first rushed him, then snapped at him. Of course the day only got worse. Finally as he got back on track, I stopped him, looked him in the eye, and said, "Please forgive me for being irritable." He didn't get it, but the change was immediate. In that moment, something shifted in our day.

I learned then that there are spiritual actions that touch the soul, that part of us that is eternal, untouched by the diseases that impact our flesh. Things that make a difference, whether or not the other person realizes it or even wants it. These things have a profound impact on another person's soul, whether that person has dementia, is our sworn enemy, or is just having a bad day in the checkout lane.

Paul's words to the Corinthians have taken on new meaning for me in light of this lesson. Writing to encourage them to look beyond what is seen, he says:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

"What is unseen is eternal." I've always thought of that as looking beyond this life to the next, to focus on heaven, to see things from a Godward, long-term view. And that is true. It does help us in trials to remember that there is something far better that we will gain for eternity.

But, "What is unseen is eternal" also applies to any actions that bring heaven to earth. Things like the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Things like a cup of cold water in Jesus' name. Things like doing everything as if I were doing it for Jesus Himself. Anything that demonstrates His unseen character is eternal!

Years ago a dear friend told me, "Choosing to love does something powerful in the spiritual realm." She said this when I was on the cusp of ministry to people very different from me. I learned that she was right. The day I asked my husband to forgive me I learned that the "spiritual realm" isn't just "out there". It's "in here", in my heart and my husband's heart. Love, and all that flows from the throne of God above, touches the soul, no matter what we see on the outside.