Lessons from Caregiving, #12: The Last Time

(This post is part of a series. For previous posts in the series please see #1, #2., #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11)

The last time I tucked you in to bed,
You looked at me with trust and love.
Your eyes said what your words could not.

"Thank you."
"I love you."
"I miss you."

I hate this disease, this result of the Fall.
It steals so much, so quickly.
I never know when this will be the last time.

The last time you remember my name.
The last time you recognize me.
The last time I tuck you in.

I don't know how to live like this,
Constantly anticipating "the last time."
Always hoping for "one more time."

All I know to do is love you well
And treat you as if each time IS the last time.
To focus on and treasure every moment.

And then maybe when the last time comes, I will have no regrets.
No "I wish I hads". No struggling to remember -
Your voice, your smile, your touch.

And when the last time comes, I want to remember this truth:
Because of Jesus, there is never really a "last time".
For all our "last times" here are simply portals to the first time there.

So I will cry.
Then I will lift my head, and take my next breath
With Hope.