1 Peter 3:1-6 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
What an interesting - and hard - passage this is. It even uses they horrible four letter O-word! And yet, the heart of the passage is really encouraging.
As a missionary and a wife, you've probably experienced times when God inexplicably refused to let you in on the plan ... times when your husband felt led a direction and you didn't, or maybe even you were outright resistent. That's not a missionary experience, that's a wife experience!
As I've pondered this passage recently I've come to grasp something I never saw before. This passage has been so taken out of context to justify enduring abuse (something God NEVER intends) that we fail to explore what "do not fear anything that is frightening" might truly mean!
As often is the case in Scripture, the answer lies in the context. The example of Sarah and Abraham is an example of CHANGE. When Sarah was 65 God called Abraham to leave home and go to an unnamed land, the land God would show him. Sarah might have wanted a retirement home, to be sure, but she probably had the location already spotted! She didn't want to be adventurous at that point! If there's anything that women across cultures desire, it's security. Change typically doesn't make us feel very secure.
Then there was the whole "let's go to Egypt - and oh, let's just focus on the sister part, just don't mention 'wife'" episode. Who among us wouldn't be afraid to move -- again -- and then be placed in a dangerous situation?
And of course all those promises about the Seed ... so many of them were to Abraham. When Sarah finally got to hear the word it was from behind a curtain.
I've finally decided that the fear mentioned here relates at least in part to the fear of the unknown that Sarah surely experienced because of God's words to Abraham.
So how is that encouraging for you or me? Simply put: We don't have to be afraid of where God's leading our husbands. If we feel they are on the wrong path (what Peter calls "disobedient to the Word" - not necessarily an unbeliever!) then we can pray for them and maintain a respect and proper attitude, that can "win" them ... but regardless, we don't have to fear when we are called to follow to a place that they are led where we just don't get a "word" to go. We don't have to fear when God chooses to speak to them rather than us.
In the Bible study Daniel, Beth Moore relates Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego having to trust that Daniel's vision (Dan. 2) was correct. Literally, their lives were on the line. She recalls an experience when she had to trust an important decision into someone else's hands. "I don't think I can trust them with that decision", she told the Lord. His reply? "Can you trust me with them?" Of course. That's what it really boils down to.
Are you struggling to trust your husband with a decision today? Try shifting your focus ... trust God with your husband instead. Like Sarah, don't fear the unknown.
God is still in control, even when He guides us through someone else.
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