Cyd Mizell - One Month Later

Dear Cyd,

One month ago today your plans were dramatically interrupted. A day that began like any other ended in silence.

When you and your driver Hadi were kidnapped, I expected a quick demand for ransom and the debate over "negotiating with terrorists" to begin. Instead, there was only a frustrating void.

As I sit home this afternoon, my day interrupted by a stomach bug, I wonder about your thoughts that first day. I wonder how much of it was fear and pure survival instinct - how much of it was practical thoughts of the interruption to your plans - and how much of it was prayer. There's really not a right or wrong answer - and I don't exalt you to the point of thinking that you immediately hit your knees for the captors and prayed God's provision over those you would have helped that day and asked His peace for your family. I know you got to that point eventually, but as a fellow traveler I'm just curious how long it took to get there.

As I live out my minor inconvenience surrounded by the comforts of home and my pets, Dr. George and Nurse Petey, I feel guilty ... and yet in a strange way, I can identify with you. When I was sick again a few moments ago I wondered if it would ever end. I feel guilty, then normal, for focusing on myself so much. And as usual over the past month, my thoughts return to you.

I don't pretend to think that you'll ever read these letters; when you are released you'll have many loved ones and friends you know personally whose emails and cards have flooded your boxes. So I realize that I write these not for you, but for myself, and for the body of Christ. It's my way of remembering, of keeping you real before me. It's my way of identifying with a fellow sister in Christ. It's what I would say (I hope) if one of my friends was in your shoes. And it's my way of reminding people that you aren't yesterday's news.

You are part of us, part of the body. And we are not whole without you.

With hope and prayer,
A fellow traveler