Learning to Rest

I've been on vacation the past two weeks. This isn't necessarily as exciting as it sounds, because my husband is in a new job and was working and for that reason and finances I didn't really go anywhere. However, I realized that this vacation has really been about teaching me to rest.

If you read this blog regularly you know that a little over a year ago when I finished my master's degree God called me into a season of rest. I've not exactly been doing nothing, but neither have I had the demands of parenting, caregiving, or school pressing on me either. I've been learning to live in the Hebrews 4 rest of faith. But it's been a tough year.

My job has been significantly busier, with so many more students on campus and some big changes in our departments. As a result, I've been worn out with not much left over at the end of the day. On top of that our campus hosted the Dalai Lama and all the student tickets went through our office, adding to what was already a crazy year. I've also been teaching Bible study weekly since August and preparing those lessons. And I guess because I didn't feel I had enough to do, I've been beating myself up over not blogging more :).

So I came into this vacation pretty tired. However, since I tend to live in a task-oriented mode, I came into it with a list of things to do. All I can say is, it's a good thing I took 2 weeks off. It took me a full week to realize that I really didn't have the emotional energy for that list....that I was gaining more strength from the change of pace and hanging out with friends I don't get to see often enough, from a couple of random day trips to see family, and from playing with Nelly.

All this has helped me learn to truly rest. The second week has been filled with much more of that sort of rest, along with some new recipes and plenty of "fun" (to me) reading and movies, feeding that cerebal side of my brain (is that redundant?). As I have reflected on these two weeks I've realized I want to approach my tasks in a more sustainable manner, and try to bring some of this rest into my daily life. I've reviewed some principles I let fall by the wayside and reminded myself of the priority of relationships.

God made me to be a task-oriented person. He knows what he wants to do in and through me. And yet ultimately it's not the tasks that He's about. This vacation has helped me learn to let tasks be a means to an end. Yes, a pleasantly arranged and clean home is good - but it's best when it facilitates relationships, when it blesses those who live here and those who visit with its atmosphere of peace and love. Bargain hunting is good - but it's best when it affords more money to fulfill God's kingdom purposes in the lives of others. And so on.

So I have one day left tomorrow. I plan to fully enjoy our church service and fellowship meal, and a date with my husband. I'll wake up early Monday and start getting caught up at work. And I hope that I can remember what God's been teaching me as I learn to rest in Him.