Making Sense

I've spent much of this week trying to make sense of the senseless.

On Saturday I received word from a dear friend that a mutual friend's 10-year-old daughter was in critical condition at the hospital. As the story unfolded we learned that beautiful Olivia Ray had been hit by a car 3 hours earlier while in a crosswalk - skipping on her way to run a race at an event she had eagerly anticipated.

As I walked into the waiting area an hour later I saw a mass of people praying and crying. I didn't see my friends, Olivia's parents. Something in me knew - but I didn't want to acknowledge that fervant, worldwide prayers for the previous 4 hours had not been answered. Another friend saw me, hugged me, and told me the sad news. After a few minutes with Olivia's parents, I headed home and found myself unable to concentrate, trying desperately to wrap my mind around what had happened. It didn't make sense. I just couldn't understand why a 10-year-old would die so tragically, why a college student would have to bear such pain and guilt, why parents would have to have their hearts ripped asunder. Along with many others around the world, I lifted up the Rays and felt some measure of burden - part of being in the body of Christ. But I still wondered about the senselessness of it all.


Yesterday I attended Olivia's memorial. It was amazing, Spirit-led, Christ-centered, God-glorifying, encouraging beyond belief. We worshipped, we laughed, we cried. And no one pretended to have the answers to big questions.

One of the things I most appreciated was the pastor who acknowledged, "This isn't good; it's bad. But God can redeem it." It's so easy to mouth religious words: "God is good; He works all together for good; He is in control." We forget the corollary truth: Sin has brought about corruption to God's good plan and design. Death is part of the bad, not the good. It wasn't in the plan at the beginning.

Hebrews 2 called death an enemy - and tells us it's the last one that will be conquered. Bottom line - it's not supposed to make sense. It feels senseless because it IS senseless. It's part of the pain from a fallen world. But it's redeemable.

Romans 8 tells us that creation groans to be redeemed. The pains many of us felt this week reflect sharing the Rays burden ... but also remind us of the groaning of creation that seeks to be redeemed - set free. So behind everything that happens is a sovereign, good God who has redemptive purposes. I've been thinking about the redemptive path I'm supposed to follow after these days.

I think about all of the unengaged and unreached people groups who grieve without the hope that permeated Olivia's service yesterday - those who need to know the hope of redemption. I think about the lessons of community and relationship that showed so strongly throughout this past week in loving the Ray family. I think about Phillipians 2:1-4 and the reminder it gives me to focus on others, not myself. And I think about Olivia, eagerly skipping to run the race set before her. I think about living life with that kind of joyous abandon to what a day might bring.

Then even as the questions remains, peace settles in. And some things start to make sense.