Exclusive!

Gen. 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

I've been having some odd thoughts about Adam and Eve today.

For some reason I was thinking about how people select mates and realized that the First Couple had no choices! God put them together and expected them to learn to be counterparts - even before the Fall. So when they looked around after realizing their shame and began pointing fingers, there was no choice but to work it out. Not only was there no legal system for divorce - there weren't even any other options. So with fallen hearts, they had to learn to pick up the pieces of their marriage and move on.

They must have done so successfully, because several hundred years and a houseful of kids followed. But imagine the difference in our marriages today if we truly lived out that picture of exclusivity. We are married - there is no one else. No other option but to work it out.

I don't say that in a condemning fashion - I myself have been divorced, and so was my husband. Many of you I know have struggled with the pain of the effects of the Fall on your marriages. My point isn't really about avoiding divorce - it's about exclusivity.

What would your marriage look like if you treated your spouse as the only one? The only one to lean on, the only one to turn to, the only one to confide in? I'm not minimizing other friendships or relationships - I'm just saying that we have so many choices now that it's easy to forget the picture of exclusivity that Adam and Eve gave us. She didn't have a mom to call or a friend to have a Girls Night Out with. She just had Adam, the animals, the kids - and God. Likewise, Adam didn't have Monday Night Football with the guys. He just had her. Exclusively, at least for a while.

Our extended relationships are crucial and valid. But we need to remember that there needs to remain part of us that belongs just to our spouse. Not just physically, but emotionally we should be one flesh with all that entails. I know there are weaknesses and struggles; I realize that because we live in a fallen world and struggle with the flesh we may have extended seasons when we are a long way from that ideal union. But always, always we should realize that it should be better. It should be more intimate, more exclusive. We'll always fall short, and thank God for those friends and family members who fill that void because our spouse will never be everything we need - only God can do that. But we should keep striving toward oneness.

Ultimately, that effort will better reflect the exclusivity of our relationship with Christ as His bride. As Peter said - we have nowhere else to turn. He alone has the words of eternal life. And so through all our crises of faith and things we fail to understand, we keep learning how to be His bride - exclusively. We have no other option. And the oneness that can result as we draw close to Him, as we take on His heartbeat, will reflect the depth of relationship that is possible. That's the real reason that marriage is worth fighting for - to show the world what that relationship with Christ is like.

Like marriage in a fallen world, we won't always get this relationship right either. Thankfully, He will. And we will stumble forward, learning what it means to be His ... exclusively.