From my Heart

My posts have been much more sporadic lately, and as I sit before the computer tonight committed to blogging something, I realize that I don't feel very profound right now. All I really can do is share my heart.

We all go through seasons where God rearranges our furniture - moving our carefully set routines and patterns around, shaking things up a bit. That's the season I'm in right now. It's all for good reasons -- God brought new ministry to our doorstep and asked us to pour out love. That's all He said, and we are learning to trust that it is enough. At the same time, He has advanced other ministries in our lives. He's opening doors and giving us the choice to walk through them ... and enabling us to do what He calls us to do on the other side.

But at the same time I find myself spending less time on a couple of things I love with a passion: this blog and my studies. I find that I have no frustration about doing the ministries God places before us, unless I factor in the things I'm doing less of for this season. That's when I start wanting "more time". I don't have any profound answers, but I know this: learning to be "content with what I have" means being content with the amount of time He gives. It means balancing what is before me in the "now" with the visions I really feel are from Him that take a longer-term investment. And it means being sure I'm not being selfish -- even about ministry.

So tonight, I just share my heart. I'm sure you can relate. I've heard so many of you tell stories about being moved into an area that gave less time for what you were passionate for - only to see God move mightily in the new ministry context. I don't want to limit Him. I realize that I am by nature prone to ruts and He is faithful enough to prod me along. I'm by no means giving up on this blog or my studies -- He hasn't given the slightest indication that those purposes are served. But He has given me peace that they might not look the same. How He has me approach them might be different. And if I want to see maximum fruitfulness in my life, I have to submit to the pruning and weeding process. I have to let Him rearrange my furniture.

Because in the end, it's all His anyway.