The Five "Deadly D's"

Over 10 years ago, I picked up my first Bible study, and my life was transformed.

An inductive, Precept Upon Precept Bible study on the book of Romans (no, I didn't know what I was getting into) challenged me from day one. I realized what I thought was "salvation" wasn't, and I saw the depths of my sin nature for the first time.

But before I hit the downside of Romans 1:1-3:23 and the overpowering grace of 3:24-5:21, I learned about 5 Deadly D's. As Kay Arthur taught, these took root deep in my spirit and began to affect my view of life. As I began to learn more about God through His Word, I realized repeatedly how "deadly" these are. And I increasingly have come to value solutions that can stop them in their tracks.

1. Disappointment. Something comes into our lives that we wish were different. It could be a relationship issue, a work issue. It can be disappointment with a circumstance or with a person who has let us down. Whatever the cause, left unattended disappointment becomes ...
2. Discouragement. Our faith begins to weaken. We lose course. Negativity usually results and is reflected in our conversations with others. It's an easy step from discouragement to ...
3. Dejection. This is a "lowness of spirit" that brings emotional and physical fatigue. With dejection, our body begins to show the consequences of allowing circumstances and emotions to rule our lives. (Please note: I am not referring here to clinical depression or fatigue brought on by illness. Dejection comes as a result of circumstances. Clinical depression or illness-related fatigue have physiological causes. If you are chronically down and cannot link it to a circumstance, or if you are consistently fatigued despite getting enough rest, please see a physician.) If dejection is allowed to continue, it can easily become ...
4. Despair. In times of despair we lose or abandon hope. Simply put, we give up. We quit trying to make a difference, to work on a relationship, or to follow God's clear direction. Instead, we become fatalistic. Finally, the spirit sinks to the point of ...
5. Demoralization. We begin to live in defeat. It is easy to see how sin could have a foothold with this kind of mindset.

So, what's the answer? First, let me be very clear: Not every believer who is in despair or demoralized has given in to these "Deadly D's". Sometimes, the cause may be spiritual warfare. Other times as noted in number 3, there can be physiological causes. Often we might just need rest and some extended quiet time to recharge.

But let's be honest. A lot of times, we can trace our downward spiral to our response to a disappointment. And that's where godly solutions can come in. I by no means have a corner on these ideas (please share yours!), but here are some I've found effective:

• Kay Arthur suggests replacing "disappointment" with "His appointment" ... in other words, resting on the sovereignty of God. I've found this highly effective in 85% of cases. But some disappointments are because things need to be changed. That's why I've found another solution valuable as well....
• Turn the disappointment to prayer. If your disappointment is in a circumstance or individual that clearly, biblically, should be different, take it to God. Let your hurt prompt you to passionate prayer. There was a song a few years back about such a circumstance; the singer pled, "God move, or move me." Sometimes, God will use our prayers to change our attitude. Sometimes He'll use them to change the situation. And sometimes, His answer will be to change the circumstance. Trusting in God's sovereignty in the process will be tremendously helpful here as well.
• Another helpful solution to me has been to allow my disappointments to drive me closer to God. This is especially helpful in relationships. In one relationship where my love was consistently rejected, my dreams dashed, and my efforts to love unconditionally used against me in hurtful ways, I learned to cry on God's shoulder. I let myself feel the reality of the disappointment so that I could experience the Balm of Gilead much more deeply. In the process, God kept me so full that I couldn't help but love the person - and to this day have a heart of love despite those tough years.
• Perspective is another big help to me. Keeping in mind "the big picture" - the glory of God; His kingdom purposes; the fact that it's not about me - helps me to remember that today's disappointment is tomorrow's testimony for God's kingdom purposes. More than one of you can testify to a disappointment in ministry - a place you wanted to go where the door was closed; a job you didn't want to do but were asked to take on; a rejection in one area of ministry that you really thought you were called to pursue. Continuing to minister where we are planted and keeping the big picture in mind can be really helpful!
• Consider some alternates to the "Deadly D's":

Delight yourself in God

Dynamic - remember His power is at work in us who believe

Develop Godly relationships with people who will know when to weep with those who weep", and when to speak God's truth to you when you need to hear it most.

Determination - perservere! Or, as Winston Churchill told a graduating class, "Nevah, nevah, nevah give up."

The story is told of an old pastor who met up with a young man straight from seminary. "How are you doing?" the seasoned man asked the newcomer to ministry. "Pretty good, under the circumstances," he replied. "And what, pray tell, are you doing there?" the wise man replied.

The bottom line, though, is that we have to determine not to let circumstances and the resulting emotions control us. We have the Word of God and the mind of Christ! In Him, we can overcome our human tendency to give into disappointment.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)