I've been challenged lately to think about authenticity.
We know that when we trust Christ, part of the Gospel is that we get a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26). Yet we also continue to live with our flesh still stained by sin, the world around us trying to press us into its mold, and Satan bringing direct attacks. The process of sanctification changes us to increasingly reflect the new heart, but we stumble and fall along the way. We are told clearly how to walk in the victory of faith when we recognize the battle before us:
But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NET)
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith. (1 John 5:4 ESV)
And yet there are those battles we don't realize we are fighting. The reality of not living up to who we are in Christ is real every day. It's clearly inauthentic to deny the struggles. Those hidden faults, those mixed motives - things that would break our heart if we realized them - things that do break others' hearts at times.
What does it mean to be genuine, authentic, pure, without guile? None of us does it perfectly; we all have hidden sins and mixed motives that make it hard at times to discern what is happening in our "secret places" - which is why David cried out:
But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression. (Psalm 19:12-13 NIV)
I'm so grateful God hasn't left us without guidance about these sins. Recently in our evening devotional this passage jumped out at me in a new way:
I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. (Psalm 119:10-11 ESV)
Suddenly I realized something about the how of transformation - transformation from the inside out. As I seek Him with all my heart, HE keeps me from straying - even from things that are deep within me, things I don't realize I need to confess. Hiding His Word is not just memorizing scripture, but taking it in, making it part of me. Jesus described it as the word "abiding" in us - making its home in our hearts. As I am increasingly filled with Him and have less space for me, filled with His Word, I find myself changed in ways I didn't realize were within me. Sometimes He allows pressing circumstances to reveal something ugly within me; other times He convicts me of something I've never considered; and there are also those times He changes me by giving me new desires, new "cravings" ... when something that had appeal, that attracted me unhealthily, no longer does, and then I realize that the root of the old desire was sinful all along. I'm convinced that there are even times He changes something without me even being aware - just making me more like Him, as He has promised. I become more authentically the way He created me to be, the way the new heart is aligned toward Him.
So I'm learning that in order to be authentic, I have to be open to being changed in ways I might not realize need to be changed. There are genuine struggles at unconscious levels. At the same time, it's also inauthentic to act as if there are only struggles. As I walk through the trials of life, God constantly reminds me of who I am in Him - Blessed, Chosen, Adopted, Accepted, Redeemed, Forgiven (Ephesians 1). Never forgotten (Isaiah 49:15-16). Seen by my Creator (Genesis 16:13). Never forsaken (Hebrews 13:5).
The most beautiful thing to me about inviting Him into all of my secret places by seeking Him and making His Word at home in my heart is that I know I will never be cast out. He has already been cast out for me. But He does invite me to join Him there:
So Jesus also suffered outside the gate in order to sanctify the people through his own blood. Therefore let us go to him outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured. (Hebrews 13:12-13)
